Confessions of Eating Disorder Recovery

200) i want to love myself.

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199) It’s not gaining weight. It’s gaining my life back.

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198) im starting to recover, and i feel so much better.

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197) Tonight my sister and I were just having some time together talking while I study. She hugged me around my stomach while I was bent over sitting so my stomach bulged so I jokingly said “Not now, I’m fat” because we just ate. Then she seriously asks me “Do you really think you’re fat? Like you need to lose weight all the time and starve yourself?” It caught me off-guard. I didnt have the heart to tell her all I had secretly went through for years, the up and down cycle of first restricted eating, then anorexia and recovery, then to relapse into bulimia and recover for good. “No of course not. I know I have to eat.” “Ok good. I wouldn’t want you to go to the extreme and hurt yourself and be unhealthy.” Maybe someday I can tell her what I really did, but right now it’s too soon. I love my sister

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196) This week, I am going to eat everything on my meal plan. I will not skip a meal or a snack. Because I am strong.

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I NEED A CO-ADMIN PLEASE POST IN MY ASK BOX IF YOU WANT TO APPLY

LOOKING FOR A CO-ADMIN/MOD

195) I just had dental surgery, it was pretty intense and my dentist gave me quite a bit of painkillers. The downside is that they have a side effect of constipation. I had recently tried to avoid my eating disorder mentally by simply ignoring it but that gets really hard after three days of not “going”. I chewed three laxative chocolate pieces and had a teaspoon of epson salt within a 24 hour period. Barely enough came out. I feel desperate. I know I shouldn’t take more and that it doesn’t make one lose “real” weight but I want to “go” so bad. :( Sorry this is so gross.

194) I weigh more then I used to, it’s not fat or chubby but it’s a little more than what I can mentally handle. I’m not really so frightened of what I think personally but what others do. I have a lot internet enemies and I’m so scared they’ll see my facebook page (which is private save for the default) & think I’ve gotten fatter. I used to be this emaciated person and I’m afraid someone will decide to be cruel and call be fat for the hell of it. Knowing I’ll freak out. :(

193) I hear about heaps of girls with eds who’s mums had one too. I’ve decided I don’t want kids anymore. I’m not giving this to an innocent girl.

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